Aww thank you!! :)
Is there anything more exciting than getting new bras and underwear
Having someone to take them off
You win this time
Step 1- Buy her pizza.
Step 2- Make her cum.
the most awkward asking out situation ever.
Guy: “Do you like coffee?”
Guy: “Me too. I like…the taste of it. Wanna go get some? With me?”
Girl: “I’m married, remember? So I don’t think so.”
"I like the taste of it" ?!?!?! Dying. Good job trying though, dude.
smack that ass from 8 feet away
more like smack myself in the eye and cry for a few hours
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
when someone gives you directions but you go the wrong way
i either read for 4 hours straight or dont read for 4 months there is no in between